Justin Bieber. Jaden Smith. Two names you probably know, two names that some of you have either rolled your eyes at or spat vile about after hearing/reading. Hello, my name is María Young and I want to learn more about your thought process.

Now, I don’t really like children. You may know that, if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, or if you know me personally. They are annoying. And loud. And sticky. And tacky. There are many reasons to not like children. I like my own, and I like a few others* but really: no. Some kids are awesome and some aren’t, just like some children are ugly and some aren’t – no matter what is politically or socially correct, that’s just true. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Hats off to teachers and child care providers because GOD KNOWS. That being said, you won’t hear me calling a kid ‘fetus’ or ‘asshole’ or anything of the like. I mean I might say that kid is acting like an asshole, but even that totally under my breath to my best friend or something, in private. They’re just kids.

Justin Bieber is just a child. As is Jaden Smith. I would understand if they’d actually done something wrong or offensive in some way besides being popular, like, say, Miley Cyrus – I’ve argued before that her parents are at fault for her slutting it up for adolescent audiences and I can see why she would turn someone’s stomach. She’s innappropriate on a bunch of different levels. Justin and Jaden are not. They are children who are living out their dreams and it’s sad to me that adults are doing their damnedest to tear them down.

How would you feel if Justin was your child? Your little boy, your son that had spent his entire life singing and playing instruments, who’d always dreamed of making music for a living, who caught a lucky break? How would you feel if your young son was then was hit by the some of the harshest backlash in recent times by people damn near twice his age? What about Jaden – if he didn’t do anything but share your name and your charisma but people felt like he was a product of nepotism and privilege, and used that to discredit his actual talent and attack him by slinging insults about everything from his hair to his ears. Would you think these things were okay, or would you be wondering what the hell could make an adult feel the need or desire to hurt a child just because they don’t care for his music or his acting or his attitude or whatever?

I just don’t understand. I want to know what makes adults talk shit about children. I want to know why being a “celebrity” seems to give the public a get out of jail free card for bashing little kids. Tell me, please.

I think Justin Bieber is an adorable, age appropriate teen idol for young girls. Even if he has been groomed and manufactured by the industry, even if he has a “swagger coach”. Don’t like his music – fine. Don’t listen to it. Jaden Smith seems like a kid with a mind of his own. Take his appearance on Letterman: I didn’t see insolent, I saw independent minded. Don’t like his acting or the fact that they remade The Karate Kid or the fact that he’s not all “yes sir/ yes ma’am”? Don’t see his films. I think that’s a pretty simple solution.

(For the record, I don’t care for Justin Bieber so I pretend he doesn’t exist – it’s really not that hard, no matter what the trending topics on Twitter are.)

*OMG I LOVE BABIES!!!

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No, I’m not being sarcastic or ironic or anything else with that title: I’m totally serious. Also, I’m going to warn you one more time – I’m including images with this post that are completely not safe for work, or for home if you’re in the general vicinity of children that you disallow to see naked people. Or sex acts. I don’t want any bitching whatsoever if you get your eyeballs hurt. Also, I’m totally rambling here, this is basically just one large purge of all the ranty thoughts I want to get out…

I follow Terry Richardson on Tumblr, and I must say that I was really disappointed to see him post this today:

I just want to take a moment to say I’m really hurt by the recent and false allegations of insensitivity and misconduct. I feel fortunate to work with so many extraordinary people each and every day. I’ve always been considerate and respectful of the people I photograph and I view what I do as a real collaboration between myself and the people in front of the camera. To everyone who has embraced and supported me and my work, I am so grateful. Thank you, it means a lot.

Terry

I love Terry Richardson’s work. I think he’s brilliant. He manages to capture a realness in his subjects, a rawness that others don’t. That they can’t. While most images of celebrities and models we see are so drastically staged and post processed that we probably wouldn’t recognize that same person if we were to see them in real life, Terry Richardson breaks through the veil and takes photographs of people. They are emotional, they are open, they are of the moment, they are authentic.

My very favorite photograph of President Obama

Leonardo DiCaprio

Lindsay Lohan

Dolce & Gabbana

It’s been argued that his photographs aren’t that good, that he’s a glorified party photographer and doesn’t do anything that anyone with a camera and a flash couldn’t do. This is bullshit and everyone that argues it knows it. It’s not about the harsh lighting and candid poses – it’s about his relationship with his subjects, his ability to pull them out of their comfort zone, to get them wide fucking open so that he can snap photographs of as close to a soul as you can see on film. He has an evident way with people to be able to get them to do the things they do.

Terry Richardson's Mom

Recently, he’s come under much backlash and suddenly he’s being painted as a misogynistic predator that forces and pressures women into doing his salacious bidding. Women – self proclaimed feminists – are coming out of the woodwork to profess him to be a hellion, one that takes advantage of the prestige in which he is held to get young models to do things they are uncomfortable with. Ignoring the fact that his shoots with men and male models are just as sexually charged and (save for participating in the shoots himself) just as provocative. These shoots with men, they should stimulate the same uproar as his shoots with women, right? Yes. But they don’t. Because…I guess men can’t be victims? Or they don’t need advocates? Or maybe it’s that while fighting for equality, many women actually have a separate but equal ideal? I don’t know – you tell me.

Robert Downey Jr.

Why is it that when a woman makes a decision – of her own free will – that if it is in slightest bit sexual or open or free, people will decide that she needs advocating? That she’s being taken advantage of? How is this helping women? Assisting our cause of equality and freedom? Is it not possible that a woman wanted to blow him, and a photograph of it? Is it wrong that a chick let him and his assistants photograph her getting jizzed on? Why? WHY?

My favorite photograph of his, probably ever.

I take the same issue with people against pornography. Have you ever listened to Sasha Grey talk? She is incredibly smart and self aware. And a damn good porn star that loves what she does. The idea that women are being exploited is ridiculous to me. I do not believe, in general terms – not absolute ones – that you can exploit someone if they are an adult of sound mind. Even if they have vagina, yes. I see a lot of feminists  claiming that women are taken advantage of if they are not keeping their clothes on (except for their bras)  – condemning anything, especially any form of entertainment – that paints women as sexual beings. Why is that successfully advocating for women also absolves women of their rights and responsibilities to make sound decisions for themselves?

We are human – we are sexual. You show me a person that’s never had a sexual urge; that’s never wanted to just get fucked; that’s never been turned on by a provocative or voyeuristic aspect of an advertisement or piece of art of just random circumstance and I will show you a filthy liar. Some women love their bodies, and want to show them off. Some are very sexual and don’t shy away from it, whether in the open or not. Just because this makes others uncomfortable doesn’t make this wrong.

The strippers and hookers and models  that I’ve known? Most of them did/do what they did/do because they wanted/want to. And even if they didn’t, no one forced them with a gun to their head – but I won’t get into that possible aspect of this, because I simply do not believe that this highly respected photographer takes advantage of anyone. I think it’s simply that his work is so evocative that it makes people uncomfortable and these same people have been unable to convince anyone that he’s a monster on moralistic grounds, so now they must take it a step further and paint him as something he’s probably not. Which sucks.

Just because you don’t like it, just because you don’t agree with it, because you’re a prude or you are so self righteous and indignant that you’re determined to push your own personal ideals for what’s appropriate onto everyone else, doesn’t make taking photos with my tits out wrong. It doesn’t make a chick giving a blow job to a guy, on camera or off, a form of exploitation or something to call in the troops over. If it were to be proven that Terry had forced someone to do something they didn’t want to do – I’d be blasting him like everyone else. On the other hand, if a model comes out and says she posed in a way she felt uncomfortable with him because she knew that it’d be career suicide to say no, I’d tell her too bad. You could have taken the risk of saying no, but you made the conscious decision to do what you did, and my sympathy is not for you. You need to be strong enough to take responsibility for yourself, rather than do something now and claim victim later.

The guy that cut's Terry's hair, and his son (LOVE THIS!)

If Terry Richardson were a woman, and she had a bunch of guys licking her nipples for a shoot in Vogue, no one would give a damn. No one would be claiming she’s a predator that needs to be stopped. She’d either be painted as a revolutionary or a whore, depending on who you talked to.  Just, something to think about, I guess.

—————-
Listening to: Little Dragon – Wink

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If you know me well, you know that I absolutely, unequivocally, unrepentantly love John Mayer. On many levels, as a person, as a musician, as a celebrity. I’ve been a fan of his for about a decade now, and my love has only grown throughout his career. I’ve never cared about his relationships, I’ve never paid that close of attention to his personal life; I’ve been satisfied looking at his pretty lips, reading articles (from real magazines, not gossip blogs), and listening to his music. If you look at my last.fm, he’s my number one overall everything on every chart. That’s saying quite a bit, because I listen to a lot of music. I honestly thought there’d be nothing he could to that would change my opinion of him, ever. The rest of the world labeled him a douchebag for little media snippets and soundbites, while I appreciated his candidness, the fact that he was willing to open himself up and say off the wall shit, knowing how those that hated him would perceive him. How he didn’t let that stop him from saying what was on his mind. I appreciated that. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, as I’m sure you know, (along with my feelings about it if you follow me on Twitter) an article on Playboy.com was released to the world, and many of his fans, me most definitely included, were shocked to read much of what he said. Things like this:

Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

I was just reeling from that. I re-read it a few times, like “did he seriously just say that? seriously?” Now I completely understand what he was trying to say. He was attempting to explain that he didn’t really have a hood pass (which is basically when black people love you so much, we almost consider you one of us) he’d be able to say the n-word. And since he can’t say that, he doesn’t really have one. He went on to explain that realizes white privilege but negated that by saying he identifies in a way with the black struggle, on a one-on-one level. He could have made that point without saying that word. He is white, and therefore he is not able to say that word without repercussions. Only black people, and sometimes not even black people, are able to say that word and obviously be devoid of racist intent. Therefore, no one else can say it, in my book. It doesn’t matter the context. You just do not say it. Period.

I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

It’s no secret that I’ve said if given the opportunity, I’d make sweet, sweet groupie love to John Mayer. Something about him just does it for me. I think he’s gorgeous. But it didn’t bother me that he said he’s not physically attracted to women of color. I completely understand preferences, there are plenty of people that aren’t attracted to members of an opposite race. It was the way he said it. Comparing your dick to David Duke? Ugh. And he didn’t stop there, he went on to talk about the black women he does find attractive, managing to be even more offensive to women as a whole:

I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

What the hell is white girl crazy?

I went deeper into the interview, but when he talked about Jessica Simpson as if all she were to him were a great piece of ass he enjoyed pounding, and then stopped himself short, not out of a realization he may offend her, but out of a respect for Jennifer Aniston, I couldn’t stomach anymore. I’m glad, because I was informed later that he went on to say more offensive things. To the point where I would believe him if he later claims to have been drunk or cracked out or something while giving the interview.

Yesterday, I was livid. I was hurt and disappointed and livid. I deleted everything scheduled to publish on Fuck Yeah! John Mayer, posted a snippet of the interview and left it at that. I was seriously tempted to delete the entire site but I realize how trigger happy I am, and how rash I can be, so I held off. I attempted to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my tickets to his show on March 15th, something I’ve been seriously looking forward to, for months. I wasn’t sure if I could go, if I could stomach listening to him trying to be clever and entertaining when I no longer felt him to be for that long, in person. Not only that, but much of the fun of going was being able to lust after him in person, and reading that article yesterday, immediately when I read that he said the n-word, all of that dissipated. As I went further into the interview, I was almost sad that I’d ever thought of him that way. My loins no longer ache at the thought of him, and his penis can continue on being a white supremacist.

As the day went on, I read his apology on Twitter and I believe it was genuine; he sounded completely defeated in those few lines, but he only apologized for the use of that word. He didn’t apologize for the misogyny, for the homophobic slurs, for the other offensive quotes. He should have apologized for the interview as a whole.

I talked to a friend about it, in depth, a fellow John Mayer fan and woman of color. Neither us believe John Mayer is a racist. He’s not a racist. He just really lacks that brain to mouth filter that most people have developed I believe he’s become so jaded with how he perceives himself in the media, that he says crazy things to deflect how fragile his ego probably really is and to prevent an interviewer, a paparazzo, a twitter follower, whomever, from being able to get under his skin before he can get under it himself. I do not know him of course, but this is just what I’ve felt. We both decided that we would sit and wait, we would watch closely what he did between now and forever to make this right, what he’d say, how he’d act. We’d hold off on our boycott of him completely, tossing out his music and everything else to do with him for a little while. I thought about how angry I was at Michael Vick – how angry I still am – but reading his apology after he was released made me realize that it was alright to let him continue on with his life and make something positive come out of this. I thought about how I’d easily forgiven Chris Brown for the physical damage he did to Rihanna. Those things were so much worse than this – this was a mistake of much lesser proportions.

This morning in my email I had a link to John Mayer’s apology last night at his Nashville show. I watched, and saw that man standing in front of thousands of people, so vulnerable, fighting back his tears  with that nervous tick, pulling on his fingers and attempting to make some sort of amends, I was touched. I’ve maintained the entire time that he didn’t mean to offend, but that it didn’t take away from what he said.

So now, I’m not sure how I feel anymore. A little piece of my heart broke yesterday, the wind was completely taken out of my sails, which may sound silly but I really don’t care. I connected to him through his music and it hurts that he was so callous, almost like it would if these things were said in a blog post written by one of you – my friends. I still don’t know if I’ll be going to that show on March 15th. I thought yesterday that if I could separate his music from his person, like I can Michael Richards from Kramer when I watch Seinfeld reruns, that I could still go. My tickets are non-transferable, non-refundable and I spent much too much money on them, but I don’t think that’s possible. Maybe in between now and then, as my head levels, as I stop being angry, I’ll be able to appreciate him as a person again and have no qualms about going. I’m unsure.

All I know is while I’m still perturbed, I’m not as angry today as I was yesterday. I’m taking a breather from him and his music for awhile. Hopefully, I can get around this – never over it – and continue on with my fandom. Time will tell.

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And I said that his daughters were his high priced hookers? And some people thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill?

Well HE’S NOTHING BUT A PIMP.

Yeah, you can explain away his allowing his 9 year old daughter to swing around stripper poles and dress in dominatrix boots and fishnets at public events, fine. But can you explain away his decision to allow her to front a ‘children’s lingerie line‘? [Edit: Apparently it's not children's lingerie, it's just tutus. The collection is fronted by Emily Grace, Noah Cyrus' best friend but is advertised by both girls.]

NO YOU CANNOT.

You stand corrected.

You can call me a lot of things, but never a prude. That just wouldn’t make any sense. I am extremely liberal, I believe that sex isn’t something to be shied away from. I have age appropriate conversations with my daughters about all topics, sexuality included. But if something is supposed to be for adults, it should be for adults – if it’s for children, it should be for children. This is why we don’t watch Hannah Montana in this house, even though I’ll let them watch Kill Bill. There is a difference between kid stuff, which they will emulate and admire much more than adult stuff, because my kids know the difference between what’s ok for them and what’s not. Miley Cyrus blurs that line and I won’t have that, so no Hannah Montana (they come as a package deal). Have you seen her outfits and actions on stage at her concerts for LITTLE GIRLS?!

Yeah, no. Not in my damn house.

Billy Ray Cyrus is a pimp. There is no excuse for little girls acting like that right under his nose. And all those business and publicity decisions are supposed to go right through him, so there’s no excuse: he’s selling their souls sexuality for money and fame. That’s disgusting.

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All of the news I’ve gotten about this entire debacle has been via Twitter and good Lord EVERYONE has had something to say about it. Which is cool, whatever, but some of what I’ve seen has really annoyed me.

He’s cheated on his wife. With a lot of women, apparently. Okay. That is awful of him, assuming that his marriage was a happy one and he’s just an insatiable horn dog. He decided that the hot piece of ass he married wasn’t enough hot ass. Bad, bad Tiger. Honestly though? You guys don’t know what happened. Their relationship is private, and you don’t know what their marriage has been like. Just like when they were first married and everyone made that grand assumption that because she was a nanny she’d hit the jackpot and married him for his money. You have absolutely no idea. About anything going on their life, besides what TMZ says. I mean of course we will all form opinions on it, and he should have been prepared for that, because he’s in the public eye – it’s what happens when you’re famous and rich – but it’s the finality of everyone’s opinions that bugs me. She should leave him, he should lose his endorsement deals, he’s a dog, she’s a saint, I hope he burns in hell and she takes all of his money – those sorts of things. Wow, I could have sworn that we’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all placed ourselves in situations that would make another person’s stomach turn. You wouldn’t think that by looking at some of the tweets I’ve seen.

BUT WHAT REALLY PISSES MY FUCKING GUTS are those that are laughing at what Elin Woods did, but if it was reversed would be boycotting golf itself until Tiger was banned. Those  same people that are counting off his women and wondering if he has an STD.  Or saying “whoa, that’s awesome of his wife,! I would have done the same thing! If my husband had cheated on me I would have gone after him with golf clubs too! I love it! Don’t lay down and take that, girl!” You are all some ridiculous fucking hypocrites. Seriously, so, like I don’t understand you AT ALL.

What if the situation had been reversed and Elin had cheated on Tiger, and then Tiger chased her out of their house, beating her with golf clubs, beating her car as she tried to escape him, even half passed out of pain pills for an injury, causing her to crash? Or what if he’d gotten out of his car after the crash to defend himself and hit her? With his fists or the golf club or a tree branch or a puppy or whatever? I doubt if ANY of you that are making light of what she did would be on his side.

Let’s put this in comparison with another high profile domestic incident of this year: Chris Brown and Rihanna. Chris Brown was boycotted, he was determined to be unworthy of any adulation, he was shunned by everyone, everywhere. He was a monster, a villain, there was no possible excuse for what he did, there was no reason, and even now many feel that there is no coming back from what he did. That he should lose it all.

Do you see the problem with that? I do. It was my issue all along. Now, if you keep up with black gossip sites, which most of you probably don’t, you’ll know that Chris Brown and Rihanna were rumored to have a really volatile relationship – before he whooped her ass. It was noted that she had jumped on him before, unable to control her temper, during public events, to which Chris responded by trying to escape or pushing her away from him. Which is why it never sat well with me that she never did anything at all to provoke his attack back in February, whether it was giving him herpes or hitting him first or whatever. I thought it must have been something, but that’s speculation on my part, just as it is everyone else’s. None of that mattered though: once it was revealed that he hit her, he was fucking lynched.

Why isn’t the same thing happening to Elin Woods? Why is no one saying SHE’S a monster? I mean, there’s something hilariously ironic about her going after the most famous golf player in the world with golf clubs, but other than that? There’s nothing funny about this. Can I see myself doing exactly what she did in that situation? OF COURSE. If you’ve been reading me for a while, you’ll know that I’ve done the same (fists not golf clubs) for a lot less reason. But do I think I deserved preferential treatment because I don’t have a dick or because I felt that I had good reason? NO.

If violence is always wrong, if it’s never justified, that should remain true no matter if it’s a woman scorned or just a guy with a temper doing the assaulting. You need to decide how you feel about domestic violence and fucking stick with it.

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