**
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
McCain.
McCain who?
Mah Cain fell and I broke me hip!
**
*slaps knee in fit of laughter*
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From the category archives:
Comical
I am declaring today Immoral Matriarch Delurking Day. I ask that if you are someone that reads but doesn’t like to comment that you do so today. I want to tell you how much I adore you. If it’s your first time here and you like what you see, or if we’ve fallen out of touch and you happen to be reading this, let me know. If you always read me in your reader, click over and make an exception! Even if you just leave a smiley. If you’re not a lurker, say hello too. I’d like to see how many people are out there today. It’ll be just this one day a year, I promise. I saw someone else do this on their blog, and I’m just curious. (:
***
I’ve been in a blogging funk lately. So, I’ll be taking a break for about two or three weeks at the end of this month, going into the next. I’ve lined up some awesome guest posters [like seriously, AWESOME] for you during that time, and a couple of people want to rent out this space for the weekend so we’ll have those coming up soon as well. I have enough posts already written to last me up until then, but I’ll warn you, they suck.
By the time my self-imposed hiatus comes along, believe me, you’ll be ready for me to be gone.
***
I’ll leave you with this gem. Try not to have wet dreams. :)
Lesbian Dad, ME!, Mr. Lady
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This is a Public Service Announcement:
There is not a woman on Earth with so many children that she can’t find time to take a shower. It’s just not possible. Even if it was just a quickie – a wash the vitals and be out sort of thing, it would be a shower. And it would take less than 5 minutes. So when they claim that the 6 month old kept them so busy today that they didn’t have time? Pssshaaaw. Lie! That baby takes TWO naps a day! She’s lying! Don’t fall for it! She just didn’t want to take a shower.
And oooo you naughty bloggy lyin’ ass mommies. If your baby keeps you *that* busy then take away blog time and devote it to soap and water time.
I have two. Twenty-two months apart, the youngest being two. I make breakfast and dinner full-out-made -from-scratch meals on most days. They have set schedules that include play, outside, quiet/nap, learning and tv time, and I have a blog and I have errands I run and shit I do but damnitt I’m NEVER so busy that I can’t find a couple of minutes in a 24 hr. period to run some water between my ass cheeks.
I didn’t take a shower today. I didn’t feel like it. I haven’t sweat, had sex [goddamnitt!!!!!!], gone outside or done anything else that could get me remotely dirty so yes, I am not only showerless today – but I am in the same clothes I had on yesterday. It’s not my kids fault. They have nothing to do with it. I didn’t take one simply because I ain’t fuckin’ feel like it.
Just like you lyin’ ass mommies.
So there. I busted your bubbles. Keep your husbands away from this blog if you want to maintain that big ol’ fat fabrication!! I speak the truth and you know it!! HA!
And have you entered my giveaway for a $50 gift certificate to Good for the Kids today? Go. Now. Do it.
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Remember to comment on this post before midnight tonight if you’d like to be entered into the giveaway for a year of free Picnik Premium!
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