Poetical

3, 4F, 2, 4, 3, 8
my measurements back then -
too embarrassed now

So my Haiku’ic – Friday Confession is that I’ve gained a shit load of weight since I had my 2nd child. It’s not baby weight. It’s lazy-overeating-never-get-off-my-ass-possibly-hormonal-because-of-the-tubal weight. I need to lose…I want to say…60 pounds. J. and everyone else says that that’s way too much and that I’ll look anorexic but I pay them no mind.

The only time you pay attention to someone telling you that you want to lose too much weight is when they say “You don’t need to lose a pound!”

If they say anything like “oh, that’s too much!” or “maybe 10 or 15” or “you could just tone up a bit!” then they’re full of shit; they think you’re a walrus and are trying not to hurt your feelings.Trust me.

My tits weigh 10 pounds each. I swear they do. That might sound like a lot, but I’m totally serious. I’m not exactly sure, but I think it’s a fair estimate. Take the photo to the left [click it to enlarge]. Can you see how the boobage takes up as much of the photo, vertically, as the torso of the 1 year old Goobie? They’re even bigger now. I wear a 34H – and it HURTS. Yes… ridiculous.

My main disappointment in being this big though? That I *still* have a flat ass. Oh, it’s wide! But there’s no bubble. I couldn’t get my mom’s spectacularly black ass. I had to get my dad’s simply non-existent Mexican ass. Thanks for that papi! Oh, and the nose. LOVE them. {/sarcasm.}

Now! I know that I need to lose weight. I know that I’m young and that there’s still time to do it before my metabolism shuts down even further, and that I’d really like to enjoy my young years in more than lycra blend shirts and elastic waist pants, but what am I going to do about it? Heh.
Probably exactly what I’m doing now – nada.

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So, I participate willing and happily in only one particular MeMe; Haiku Fridays. This is due to my own annoyance at blogs that shield their lack of content with paid posts and memeatic [<--yeah, I made it up] nonsense. Not to say all heavily meme’d weblogs have no substance – some of my favorites are chock full of ‘em, but some are just…bland. Anyway, at the request of the marvelous Sue Doe-Nim, I’m ponying up the goods for another one. It’s called Friday Confessions. Maybe on my more creative days I’ll be able to combine the two but not today.

My confession of 02.29.08 is – I have not washed my hair this week. I have extremely curly hair, as you can see from the photo, that is a bitch to detangle. I’m also what us black folk call ‘tender headed’. If you happen to pull my hair too hard I’m liable to punch the shit out of you -purely reflex. And, I’ve awoken with a headache every single day this week and haven’t had the balls to torture myself through a 5 minute brush out session. So I’ve packed it into a clip or ponytail and let it be. I’ll wash it today. Probably. Maybe. I dunno. Hey! I like my nose in that picture! It doesn’t look so…desperately in need of rhinoplasty.

And finally – I was tagged by Sue for The Crazy Eights.

Things I’m Passionate About

• Dog Rescue
• Heroes
• Individuality
• Film
• Anime
• Learning
• Cooking
• Something top secret that I hope to share with you all in a few months.

Things I Want to Do Before I Die

• Travel.
• Publish a book [ with a real publisher.]
• See a screenplay that I’ve written on the big screen.
• Learn to swim.
• Be a size 2 again.
• Fuck Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
• Learn to play the guitar.
• Shoot Lindsay Lohan in the eye with a pellet gun.

Things I Say Often

• “You okay?” – one of them is always falling or whining or something.
• “I love you.” – everyday, all day. I just love the response.
• “Not right now.” – why do they always want to eat when I’m blogging? Sheesh!
• “I’m not Groucho.” – J. calls me Groucho because I’m so moody. I deny it. Always.
• “Whatever.”
• “Fuckity fuckin’ fuck.” – I’m always hurting myself or dropping something.
• That’s it. I don’t talk that much.

Books I’ve Read Recently [as in sometime last year because I haven't touched a book since October]

• The Golden Compass – Philip Pullman
• The Subtle Knife – Philip Pullman
• The Amber Spyglass -Philip Pullman
• Other Voices, Other Rooms – Truman Capote
• War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
• Here and Now: The Photography of Sam Jones – Sam Jones [that's not really reading, I know]
• The Kin of Ata are Waiting for You – Dorothy Bryant
• Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand

Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over

• “Hey Jude” – The Beatles
• “Can’t Knock the Hustle” – Jay Z & Mary J. Blige
• “My December” – Linkin Park
• “Shout” – Tears for Fears [and the Disturbed cover]
• “Something in the Way She Moves” – The Beatles
• “Time to say Goodbye” – Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli
• “I Against I”- Mos Def [from the Blade 2 Soundtrack]
• “It’s Business Time” – Flight of the Conchords

Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends

• Intelligence
• Authenticity
• Humor
• Compassion
• Optimism
• Loyalty
• Trustworthiness
• Selflessness

People I Think Should Do Crazy Eights

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