One thing I cannot stand is a screaming, crying child. One thing that I cannot stand even more is a screaming, crying child in a public place. Especially when the child’s parent is not addressing the problem, either ignoring or gently and ineffectively trying to console the child.
I’m like dude - shut your fucking kid up. You may be used to that shit, but not everyone else is. Be respectful to others. Now I have sympathy for say, a mom trying to finish her grocery shopping with a screaming toddler in her cart. I mean she’s obviously doing something necessary. I have no sympathy for situations arising in places like movie theaters or restaurants. Get your lazy ass up and take your child home. Or outside and be a parent: calm them down however you normally do and bring them back when they are no longer pissing off everyone else in the place.
I can say this so freely maybe because it hasn’t happened to me. No seriously, neither one of my daughters has ever been that child. They’ve been to movies, they’ve sat all day with me in doctor’s offices, they’ve taken long car rides only to end up somewhere dull and boring in the eyes of a child. They’ve been tired and cranky and irritable but it has ever taken me more than a firm tone and a squatting down to their eye level and pointing my finger to straighten them up.
No wait, I’m lying: my youngest did that to me once, this past 4th of July. She didn’t want to walk and I didn’t want to carry her so she cried. And she wouldn’t stop. So I turned her around and I took her back to the car, and then home, even though we’d driven over an hour to get to the fireworks. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Granted it was like 2 miles we had to walk and she was also sick (I didn’t know until she shit her pants on the walk back to the car and it was an awful shit, the kind that chokes you with stink and seeps out of her clothes onto everything) so it was an odd occasion and not normal behavior for her, but regardless – I did what I wish all parents would do if they’re not in the midst of something necessary: remove their child.
It’s not fair that we all have to endure your unhappy kid. That’s YOUR kid. He’s YOUR responsibility. YOUR problem. Don’t make him everyone else’s. That isn’t fair. Stop being selfish.
All that being said, if I do run across a screaming child and a parent not doing anything to make it hush, I ignore it. I place myself as far away from it as I can. I damn sure don’t take it upon myself to intervene – I don’t need to be an asshole: apathetic mommy and Chucky Jr. have that covered. And if it was my child being that child and some rowdy old man came up took it upon himself to handle the problem, I’d crack his ass over the head with whatever object was heaviest and closest.
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Listening to: Maxwell – Bad Habits
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
seriously! wtf? you don’t put your hands on someone else’s kid.
September 7, 2009 at 3:14 am
Seriously. I would have bitchslapped him as I was kicking him in the balls and telling Zoë to scream louder.
That being said, yup. I am, 98% of the time, the taker-homer. 2% of the time when someone sees her in that state – because mine IS TOTALLY one of those kids – it’s because we’re on our way home and I’m dragging her up the street to it.
I’m totally not above telling her that the strangers around her will be upset, if she’s acting like that – it’s actually way more effective than trying to reason with her when she gets all crazy-like.
You know I love you sweetie.
But just remember that sometimes, just sometimes, that child is a child like mine. Looks totally indistinguishable from all the other kids. You just can’t tell. And that mum is just doing the very best she can.
And it is probably the only time she has been out in days because she knew that once her kids becomes overwhelmed by something, anything, who the fuck knows what the hell set them off, the stares and whispers will start.
We were at an REI store the other day and this guy let his kid scream, just sit on the floor and SCREAM, for like 20 minutes straight, while he continued to browse through camping tents and bungee cords.
THAT guy needed to be slapped. But the kid was just being a kid.
Anyone, ANYONE, EVER places their hands on my child, and one enormous storm of terror, pain and mayhem is gonna rain down on them. Courtesy of ME. I may be small, but you fuck with my kid and I WILL BRING YOUR ASS DOWN.
The end.
Ohhhh, I have had that child. But I don’t let it go on in public.
That’s what public restrooms are for.
If I had turned around and gone home every time Justin had a fit from age 3-8, we never would have gone anywhere. Ever.
That said, we never stayed in movies or restaurants if he was all out screaming. I can recall many, many situations where I would be sitting in the hallway of a fun spot with a hysterical Justin while the rest of our group had fun inside. Once he calmed down (sometimes a few minutes, sometimes 30-60 minutes) we could go back in. One REALLY fun memory was of us at a fair for my dad’s work, hot, hot day. Justin started melting down and I had to sit him against the wall for 20 minutes while he finished his tantrum. The LOOKS I got for just letting my kid work out his emotional issues!! They had no idea what I went through on a regular day.
You have absolutely no idea how rare it is that you have 2 children that never throw screaming tantrums.
And now I have to go read that article because it sounds like a stranger spanked a kid?!? WTF?
I will forever hold onto my stance though, that if your child does something to (like throw a chair at) my child and you don’t do something about it, I sure as hell will.
I said to my husband-you know we’ve all THOUGHT about it. But we don’t DO it. If I was that mother dude would have been busy pulling a clothing rack out of his ass.
I see some parents and their screaming kids in the line, and usually I assume busy lives, one the way out the door. Doesn’t bother me-mine don’t throw tantrums cause we don’t go out when they’re tired (and we’re lucky) but I know it happens.
It’s the ones casually browsing while their exhausted/hungry/bored/irritated child screams blue murder through the store. Cannot STAND that. Take the kid home and put her to BED.
When I was a nursing mom, hearing those screaming babies made me leak. I had to leave many a store because I was afraid I’d soak through the pads and bra and such…
And I am definitely one of those moms who will leave a cart full of groceries because my child is having a meltdown. Maybe because that is my attitude… I haven’t had to deal with many public meltdowns. We have turned down invites to big events (Elmo Live, the circus, etc) because we’ve had a chain of bad behaviors.
And because I am a mom who is invested in her child’s behavior, if a stranger dared to even attempt to discipline my child in any way… ooooo boy…
I am not a mother (as you know) but if a child is irritating you on the bread aisle then go down the juice aisle. I only have problems with screaming kids if it is in the movies or library or some place where you suppose to be quiet. I try not to judge parents based on what I see outside their homes. That’s just me though. (It is extremely annoying though!) As far as the situation in the news that happen, he would have never got to the point of hitting “my child” because as soon as he walked up on me I would have been all over his ass. Just saying. (And I seriously mean all over his ass, but if he did get to my child, he would be dead now.)
I get pretty resentful of kids crying in public when I’m not with my kids and want to enjoy myself as an adult, thank you very much. I don’t care if they act up in a doctor’s office, though, because if that helps us get in faster, then scream away!
My kids also know that they are under no circumstances to act up in public otherwise. And thankfully, we’re past the ages where it’s really an issue anymore.
I do feel sorry for parents on a plane, though. That sucks for everyone and to try to take a screaming toddler in those cramped bathrooms won’t help any!
But I wouldn’t dare to intervene with any other parent. I judge silently. And that one guy was an asshole. Period. End of story.
That guy would’ve been fishing his balls out of his throat when I was done with him.
The only time my daughter had a complete, out of character meltdown was when I was leaving at Target, at the checkout lane. It was insane and I was sooo embarrassed and just wanted to LEAVE, which we did, of course, once I got my bags. Then later that night, she had a raging fever and turns out she had strep throat. Which honestly, made me feel better, because at least there was a reason she acted like Damien! :)
Still – I agree with you – people – leave your fucking kids at home if you don’t feel like parenting, or discipline your children so the rest of us can get on with our time. Had my daughter done that while I was shopping, I’d have taken her home and never made it to the checkout lane.
My kid literally cried for 10+ hours a day for the first 6 months of his life. Inconsolable, ear-shattering, fucking obnoxious screaming. There was nothing I could do. He had an umbilical hernia repaired at 6 months, the earliest that his surgeon felt was safe for anesthesia. He calmed down and was in less physical distress after that. Before that, there was nothing I could do.
I’m not exaggerating. He screamed for 10 hours a day. And his dad was away approximately 3 weeks/month traveling for work. And I lived a 3 1/2 hour drive from any other family member.
And sometimes you’re out of toilet paper and you have no choice but to take your inconsolable screaming child to target so you can wipe your ass for Christ’s sake.
And I’m not sorry for doing that.
Although once a lady called CPS and the cops on me because my kid was screaming in Target, and that was humiliating (although she was chastised by Target staff and the police, who were busy comforting me, since I was weeping, and I had this screaming child, and she was a bitch).
When my kids were little, and we went shopping (the place meltdowns tended to start) I would tell them we were ‘on a mission’ and we wouldn’t be there long. If they threw a tantrum, it was not unusual for me to leave a cart at customer service, or if there wasn’t much in it I’d replace it all, and carry my screaming kid out of the store. I hate that attitude that once you bring your kids to a public place your responsibility as parent ends or you abdicate that responsibility to strangers.
Yet, like you, I would not take it upon myself to discipline someone else’s kid, especially one I didn’t know.
While I don’t agree-AT ALL-with anyone laying a hand on my child for any reason, I don’t agree either with the attitude shown here that some parents are simply not being good enough parents if their kids are crying. I wouldn’t keep a screaming child in a movie or a restaurant, but neither would I ever leave a store because one of my kids might be upset. There are lots of other stores-if people don’t like to be in places where kids might be screaming, don’t go to places like Wal-Mart or McDonalds. I don’t have the luxury of rewarding my children’s bad behaviour by allowing them to force me out of a store. Neither do I have the luxury of being able to pick and choose the perfect time for a trip TO the store so as to accomodate my kids. Last, I had one-Sam-who WAS that kid screaming in Wal-Mart or wherever, because he WAS routine oriented-I knew different things to TRY to soothe him, but sometimes it just isn’t possible. And is no way a reflection on my parenting.
September 10, 2009 at 10:08 am
Oh boy, I’ve had that child a couple of times this year (what the heck happened, she never was like this at 2!)…but I’ve dragged her kicking and screaming through the mall back to the car both times, once she started her fit…with her 9 year old brother walking 12 paces behind us with the “I don’t know these people” look on his face LOL!
Ya know I love ya, Maria, but I have to side with Kori on this one. Maybe it’s cuz I live in NYC, where grown adults have full-out tantrums and loud fights out in public all the time, but I have no problem with kids having melt-downs in public and I certainly don’t see why parents would have to take their children home for having a melt-down.
Riley’s only 5 weeks old, so I haven’t gotten a chance to test out my policy, but for now it looks like this: If my kid’s upset, I’m gonna try to console him. Not for YOUR benefit, but for his. If I’m successful, great. If not, and you find his tantrum annoying, then bully for you. No one’s paying admission into Walmart; we have just as much right to be there – screaming child or not – as anyone else. And besides, Kori’s right: Who has time to delay errands? (Obviously, if we’re at a theater or a sit-down restaurant, that’s a whole different story.)
And OH BOY!, if someone were to try to physically discipline my child… LOL Let’s not even go there.