you may not want to read any farther, lest you get offended. If you can’t help yourself, just know that I warned you and don’t expect me to apologize for or amend my personal opinions because it hurts your feelings. My blog. Remember that.
I love Angelina Jolie. I have since first watching Gia, long before she became who she is. Before Girl, Interrupted, before Tomb Raider. Before Brad. I admire her as a person, as a woman, as a humanitarian, as a talent and as an open soul. I’ve been nothing but happy for her and the fact that she truly seems content with life.
But yesterday after seeing her at the Spirit Awards I found myself a little annoyed at her. More kids, Angie? More? What is this? Maddox, Shiloh, Zahara, the other one, now this one – or these two? That’s like 5 or 6 kids! In a very short amount of time.
How is it possible to have so many children in such a short span and give them all the love and attention they each require? How can you truly claim to know each individual little person, learn them, feel them, appreciate them? I mean, it’s not like they’re multiples – she is electively adopting/creating her own population. None of my business…I know, but hell – it’s ridiculous. Does she want to be another Josephine Baker? Yes, I know they have the funds to give their children more than most families with only one child can afford to provide but there is much more to raising children than globe trotting, big houses and multiple nannies. There is that little aspect of parenting called parenting.
When I used to watch the Discovery Health specials on The Duggars I
marveled at how well behaved and seemingly happy each and every one of their children were. Yet, the more I thought about it the more I realized that homeschooling or not, that woman is not being the mother she should and could be. She can’t, because she has too many goddamned kids! The older siblings are being made to take on responsibilities that they shouldn’t be. They are all required to be surrogate parents for their younger brothers and sisters. That is completely unfair.
Maybe she shouldn’t be homeschooling. I think those children would be better off at a public school, realizing that there are lives and families different than their own. I think those daughters need to be recognizing that they aren’t doomed to a life surrounded by offspring, inside and out. Those sons need to know that there is more to a man than popping off cumshots every time the womb is empty.
I look at Jon & Kate Plus 8, a show of which I’ve never been able to stomach a full episode. I 
cannot stand the complaints and whining about being tired and stressed and overwhelmed. That was a choice they made. To have a shit load of kids. I feel that it is wrong – yes, WRONG – to have that many children. It is not fair to the children themselves. How could it be? Their genuine moments of parental affection, devoted to just them are nonexistent.
I don’t think that people should have so many children that they are lenient on others for assistance, in any way. I don’t think that older siblings should become nannies for you. I think that having a shit load of kids is selfish. Yes, babies are cute and we all want/love babies – but there is such as thing is too many and it’s not when your uterus says ‘fuck you, I’m done’. It’s when you have more than you, and you alone, even without a spouse, can handle.
I have two. I am done. I’m glad I had a tubal, and can’t have anymore because I soooo would! I miss having a baby desperately – for the last 5 years I’ve either been pregnant or had a ‘baby’. As they grow I realize that two is my personal limit. Having anymore would be putting a serious strain on me. Others can handle more, some can handle none or less. I know a mother of five that does amazingly. Of course, she has spaced them out so that makes a difference but I don’t even think then I could do that.
I have to purposefully ensure that I’m giving each of my girls the level of interaction that they
need. I have to set aside time for each to make sure I’m not missing out on any wonderful little characteristic of their individual person that might have developed recently. How could I do that if I had 5 or 10 more to concern myself with? How?????
To each their own I guess. Maybe it’s just me. I just worry about the children.
Honestly – are they better or worse off from having as many brothers and sisters as a school of fish? Only they can answer that, eh?
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
I have 3 and I find it hard to give all my kids the attention and love they deserve….and I’m not even off in Darfur or Iraq trying to save the world!
And the Duggers? Don’t even get me started on them!
It really is all about personal limits. I’m trying to figure out if mine is one or two, because with the sweet, quiet boy I have, I feel maxed sometimes. Maybe it’s because I have a consuming parenting style, but that’s how I chose to parent. Perhaps if I just let go a little more, I’d be willing to make a clown car out of my vagina like Mrs. Duggar. (Sorry — I’m all for doing what you can handle, but NO ONE can handle 17 kids and parent well — ITA with you.)
I think people with zillions of kids are actually ADDICTED to it. They are addicted to the being needed and being unconditionally loved. Sure I guess we all might be…but for these people..having children feeds that need and they almost cannot help themselves. Strangely enough kids in large families seem to love it. I even have a friend with 10 kids and her kids seem happy as could be. I however do think they do not get enough individual attention and yes the older ones have to take on a lot of responsibility. Then again…her teenagers are not drunk and pregnant so maybe its a good thing? Hard to say…but I think having even one kid is selfish…so having 10 is COMPLETELY self serving and an insult to the planet we live on.
@mama zen – Yep, some of them do.
@Stacey – I think they do! Definitely!
@stephanie – I agree. And plus, look @ all those hidden nanny cam videos of children being beaten!
@natalie – I agree with every word.
@dkaye – Oh yes, I know their lives are much better for being adopted -definitely!
@cynical – If you are delusional or self centered, I am glad to be right along with you.
@azhria – Even if they all get the same amount of attention, they get less than they would if you have less children. Right?
That’s my issue with it. How much attention and love should you divvy up before you stop?
@azhria – I tried to comment on one of your entries but it asks for a password. Just know that I tried to return the visit! :)
@kimmylyn – No one told me about the tubal side effects.
@maggie – For ME? Wow. *lol*
@SnL – Not touching that one! *lol*
@jenni – It’s all about what you can handle, but also about what’s best for the children as well.
@huckdoll – LOLOLOLOL
@mizsassy – Yes – I do. I agree with abortion in any case before late term so why not reduction. Whatever is best for the kids.
And they act like it’s soooo hard – stop whining!!
@april – me too. :) I was a selfish brat – only child in my house.
@leendalu – that’s what bothers me! The incessant whining!
@mindi – I won’t! LOL
meh. I’m the fifth of six and wouldn’t have it any other way. my mother was not good at “parenting skills”……but she’s a fucking awesome person. her mothering was often laden with her Irish guilt (despite the fact that she has never been catholic. go figure).
she was inconsistent.
she was a workaholic.
she was insecure and codependent.
but she taught me all of the most important lessons that I’ve ever learned.