Edit - Hello WMs! I know that you all refer to this in your own little circle as ‘Mommy Gate’ [oh how very clever of you!] and that you’re passing the link to this entry around amongst your WM private message boxes and various email accounts. I just thought I’d say hi and welcome you to the site. I do allow anyone to comment and I never delete so if you’d like to offer a public rebuttal – please do! Enjoy! End Edit.
When I moved back to Wilm- ington last summer I knew that I had to find a way to make new friends for myself and my girls. Through a Google search I stumbled upon a mommy group that I thought had tremendous potential for us. I was right. Almost immediately I made a host of new friends and had an agenda as full as a Stay @ Home Mom’s can get. Of course there were a few that I wasn’t particularly fond of, but I’m not really a people person so that was to be expected…
It just happened to be that the woman I couldn’t stand the most was the site moderator: we’ll call her Betty Sue. I cringed at her posts – their lack of grammatical composition and the way she turned almost any topic into a way to bring up her next date, new MySpace lover or slutastic outfit. Of course I never said anything about it, publicly, but to those that I knew best, I mentioned. I realized that it wasn’t just me: her attention-whoring was bothering most of the active group members.
It took something ridiculous happening before our disdain for Betty Sue using the forums as a “lookie-me-i-got-fucked!” blog was made known to her – and she immediately ceased and desisted. But she held her grudge. We all knew it, but we ignored her.
Unbeknownst to us, she and the other women in their positions of power were keeping track of the clique that had developed consisting of me and 5 others [Kathy, Kerrie, Jeanie, Tricia, & Andie]. They tagged us the ‘Underground Mommies’.
The Underground Mommies liked to email each other – a lot. There were almost a hundred emails exchanged every day [thank God for Gmail grouping!] varying in topic from our personal lives to food to the mommy site. We weren’t very nice to Betty Sue or another gal from there, by the moniker of Reeses. But they were our private emails – and we kept our posts on the mommy board friendly and happy. We loved that board, and all most of the members.
This email ‘loop’ went on for months with just the six of us, despite various requests from ‘outsiders’ to be included. Until last week. Abigail, who we all knew somewhat, but didn’t talk to very much, asked Jeanie if she could take part. The consensus was to allow her participation, so we added her to the CC list. I personally provided her with the rules of Fight Club, jokingly, but dead seriously.
[*Read: 
1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop", goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys mommies to a fight.
5th RULE: One fight at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.
*]
It didn’t take long for something that occured on the board to come up in our emails.
Abigail went back to the person being discussed and ran her mouth. She excused her actions by saying she didn’t ‘use names’ and we allowed her to remain among us. Silly us; trusting that
snake.
A few days ago, we weren’t able to access the site. Logging in took us to a blank page and it didn’t take us long to realize that we had been booted. Then, we all individually received this email:
Whatchamacalit Mommies Management Team
Yeeaahhh….
Abigail had infiltrated our circle with the sole purpose of snitching [Read: c'mon - Gangsta 101 - don't snitch!] and turned over our emails to Betty Sue, Marcia and Reeses.
We were pissed. And we sent emails back. And we were replied to by the president of The Mommies Network, who was extremely bitchy and condescending towards us. And yesterday, she banned Jeanie, Kerry and Kathy permanently. She requested another day to ponder her notes before passing down judgment on Tricia, Andie, and I. Heh.
Never mind the thousands of posts between us on the Whatchamacalit Mommies board, the countless events we attended and helped arranged and the committees we actively served on. Never mind that the day we were being betrayed and banned some of us were out spending our own money to help promote and organize the group. Never mind that they were our private, personal emails and our way of venting in order to keep our disgust out of the public eye.
The Head Cunts in Charge didn’t like us. We didn’t like them. They went out of their way to invade our privacy and get the ‘legitimate’[?] dirt that they needed to rid themselves of us.
“Hello. I’m Johnny Cash.”*Names have been changed to provide me the ability to say “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about” if ever confronted with this blog.
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Being an At Home Dad I can relate to the politics from a different view. Hey start your own group and let those you can know you started one. Sooner or later those that shared your thoughts would be gone too…
Doing a little lunchtime blog hopping while 7.5yo is at school, 3.5 yo, Baby and mom are napping… Shhhh….
Stuff like that seriously pisses me off. It’s the primary reason I think people suck more often than not. Jealousy and superego gone awry.
I think you should start your own group.
My husband’s mantra is “you can’t trust anyone online.” He makes no exceptions, I, however, am a little (okay a lot) more forgiving. Plus as women, we have the innate ability to use our natural instincts to guide us.
I say do something by yourselves. Make a community blog or something.
P.S. Thank you soooo much for you’re very sweet comments, you really touched me.
Haha! I was the shit disturber of my online mommy group for sure. I had a another mom who was just as bad as me and we had a circle of about six that did the same as you gals.
Online mommy groups are horrid, that’s why I like me some blogging world, cuz I do what I want. There’s nothing better than speaking your mind on your own blog and if ppl don’t like it, they don’t have to read.
I’m sure we’d have been in the same online mommy crew. How shitty you got kicked out. They’re just jealous of the super fly mamas.
WOW…I had no idea that there were so many politics with mommy groups! Sorry it ended so badly…very interesting post.
My goodness. Either I’m completely oblivious to the politics of mommy groups or I’m very very very lucky. How juvenile of the other moms! I guess now I know where those snotty girls I knew in elementary school learned their most excellent habits.
That is ridiculous! I am sorry the other mommies egos were secure enough to handle not being slavenly adored by all members of their group.
How highschool.
Doesn’t it amaze you that maturity never seems to find its way to others lives?
Could you imagine being that sad of a person?
Fascinating! It never ceases to amaze me that the way people were in grade school….are generally STILL that way as grown ups. Crazy ass shit.
omg…what a bunch of infantile idiots!! seriously! nothing like that went on in my playgroup! that is disgusting, repulsive and immature! and…it’s their loss…because you rock!
xo
*Names have been changed to provide me the ability to say “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about” if ever confronted with this blog.
What’s that mean? Make me wonder if any of this is true.
It’s true. Every word. Trust me.
I’m the president of my “real life” MOMS club and I can tell you that shit like this happens all the time. It’s one of the reasons I cannot WAIT for my term to end. I don’t know what it is about staying home to raise the kdis, but it seems to bring out the worst high-school shit imaginable, even 15 years out of high school.
Tell those bitches to sit & spin!
Mindi
Weekend BlogHopping with Yeungling
Well, it’s obviously their loss! And your baby girls are adorable by the way. Adorable!
i knew something was up… screw ‘em man! you rock!
OMG Maria, this post is bang on…. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. Mommy’s group can seem like the best thing esp. when you’re at home with young kids, and looking for adult stimulation and friendship.
Sometimes it’s not enough that all you have in common is the fact that you’ve got kids and are at home.
I’ve joined a couple, and have lucked out with one in particular where everyone is pretty laid back; now that the kids are older we get together whenever we can, even for girls’ night. We’re not super close (some are more than others) but we can still hang whenever we get caught up. I was with another where things went weird really fast. I just never kept up with it. I think online groups can be even more vicious.
It’s so unfortunate that some women can get so bitchy. To have someone actually infiltrate your fight club, and then have you turfed!!
You really should start your own group. Can I join, I can throw a pretty mean sidekick LOL?!
Love yer blog, BTW. I think blog hopped before, and I’m here via WW today. I’ll be back for sure.
Eeew.
Sounds like you’re so much better off. Gaggles like that make me nervous, I’m not one for group-think.
@A man among mommies – I think we might – we’ve already received a large amount of inquiries from other women in the group.
@honeybell – That’s exactly what it was.
@Abritdifferent – Aww, you’re welcome! And what makes it all the worse is, it’s not just online. It’s an in person thing and most of these women live within a 10 mile radius of me.
@Queen of Frugal – I didn’t really know either. *lol*
@scylla – That’s what I’m saying! We could deal with not being liked – they obviously couldn’t.
@Paula – I think you hit the nail on the head with that.
@suchsimplepleasures – I do, don’t I? *lol*
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