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I bought a huge bag of baby carrots today. None of us like carrots.

by Maria on June 25, 2010

in Tuneage,Vlogging

That’s me (my hair is so shiny!)! Talking about my worst habit, which is procrastinating. I’ve got a crap load more, of course, but just settle for that. Currently, I’m avoiding picking out my fall semester classes, cleaning my bathroom and doing laundry because the dryer is on the fritz and I have to go the laundromat to dry. I meant to do all of these things on Monday. Yes, it’s Friday. I’ll get to it.

Eventually.

4725028920 d3f980468f z I bought a huge bag of baby carrots today. None of us like carrots.

Last weekend Joey & I took the girls to see Toy Story 3: 3D at the IMAX theater. He and I loved it just as much if not more than the girls did. I swear, some scenes just ripped my heart from behind my breasts. I had no idea I was attached to those toys. The movie was amazing – really amazing. If you didn’t think so I really don’t think you and I can be friends. Did you see it? What’d you think? At the theater every woman I saw either was clutching or pushing a baby, or massively pregnant. My ovaries were aching by the end of the day. I want another baby!

My daughters are hugging right now. This may not seem like a big deal, but as much as they love each other and as well as they usually get along, this is incredibly rare. Rosario is very selective with who gets her physical affection and when. I’m the only person in existence that gets it without reserve – every one else is lucky to get a hug once in a while. Mama’s girl, yes.

The iOS4 update messed up my iPhone. It’s running incredibly slow, the apps keep crashing and because the update itself screwed up, it deleted all of my contacts and information. Bleargh. It doesn’t matter really, being as I’m getting the iPhone4 as soon as the white one is released, but it’s still irritating. Speaking of white iPhones and things that are irritating – it is such crap that the white model won’t be released for another 3-4 weeks. I’m impatient! But, also stubborn and will not settle for the black one.

Today’s the one year anniversary of Michael Jackon’s untimely death. I can’t believe it’s been that long. In remembrance, here’s my favorite song from him:

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Things I have learned about me, that maybe you should know:

by Maria on October 12, 2009

in Thoughts and Debacles

  1. I am like a bomb when I’m angry. Cut the right wire and almost instantly, everything is fine. Cut the wrong one and just as instantly, shit will blow up. Also, sometimes there’s more than one wire. I’m pretty easy to diffuse, but you have to take care and basically know exactly what you’re doing because if you just wing it, there’s a hell of a price to pay for making it any worse.
  2. I am made up almost entirely of contradictions. It stems from being overly introspective. I’m constantly analyzing myself and my decisions. Pair this with a penchant for honesty and the tendency to reveal more information than needed and you get someone that is seemingly unable to make up their mind. I believe that all it really is that I am just as likely to take you with me on my journey of self realization and personal responsibility as I am to go on it alone, inside.
  3. So, I change my mind quite often.
  4. I do not like to be wrong, but I’m usually quite fine with admitting I wasn’t right.
  5. I hate when people try to figure me out. It’s impossible.
  6. I hate it even more when people find out that you have some semblance of a diagnosable mental condition and begin to completely discredit all of your feelings and actions that they don’t approve of or understand by saying that it’s the crazy in you, not really you.
  7. I will trust almost anyone with my life but I trust no one with my bare secrets.
  8. I take my life and health for granted because I’m not afraid of dying.
  9. I am just as easy to please as I am hard to.
  10. I believe I feel more intensely than other people because fewer things cause me to actually feel anything. My emotion is heavily concentrated.

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Things I Love

by Maria on August 19, 2009

in Thoughts and Debacles

  • Pulling a potato chip out of the bag that’s way too big to fit into your mouth, trying to do it anyway and having it break and crumble all over you.
  • Falling asleep while reading a book so engrossing that it’s impossible to put down and having it permeates your dreams.
  • My curls giving off the impression that I was just fucked wildly, perpetually.
  • Scratching an itch at the center of your back and then having to run your nails over the entire thing because the itch tried to escape you and ran around trying to find a place to hide where you couldn’t reach.
  • Wrecking a tiny red moleskin for no purpose other than boredom and bliss.
  • Spicy food burning your tongue and satiating your desires all at once.
  • The deliberate stroke of a well taught, much experienced tattoo artist and the graceful, painful, beautiful slicing of their needles over your flesh, injuring and enlightening you.
  • Movie scores, no matter the film, making me emote in ways that nothing else can: having to rub goosebumps down, hold my body still from a shiver, fight back tears from the power.
  • Reading a piece of literature, eyes covering each page frantically, mouth agape, pausing to absorb after every paragraph for a split second before hungrily devouring more, and at the end breathless from the author’s talent.
  • The look of a flesh toned, glossy lip paired with a dramatic eye.
  • My teeny, tiny, impossible to remove, possibly grown literally into my septum itself, may need surgery, ring.
  • Ghetto gold: big hoop and door knocker earrings; rope and herring bone and nameplate necklaces; dozens of thin bangles all in a row clanging together like wind chimes with every motion.
  • Licking warm fruit and tobacco tainted lips after the first puff of a blunt rolled in flavored Phillies.
  • Being able to secretly pretend in my mind that I’m my favorite character in a film I just watched, feeling my childish desires fulfilled even though my days of openly exploring my imagination in that way have long gone.
  • Feeling someone watching you and looking up to find someone staring into your eyes as if you were the most interesting person on the planet, only to break away as soon as they are realized.
  • The resemblance in sound of stepping on a twig and a bone breaking.
  • Cuticles growing back  jagged and tough after a manicure and returning to you your chew toys.

—————-
Listening to: All Time Low – Dear Maria, Count Me In

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NSFW: The Cliff Game.

by Maria on May 25, 2009

in Celebrities

Joey and I played a game today that I’d never played before. It was really fun, he called it the Cliff Game and it goes like this:

Someone names three people. One person you have to shove off a cliff, one person you have to spend the rest of your life on a desert island with but can never touch them, and one person you have to sleep with and never see again.

In one scenario he proposed Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Clint Eastwood. I chose to sleep with Sylvester, live with Clint and kill Arnold.

I told Joey that Sylvester was hot and hung pretty well and he made a disgusted noise. So I went hunting and found this.

NSFW image so… {click to read the rest…}

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I'm really not that interesting…

by Maria on April 23, 2008

in Self

Ruthie @ My-Mama-Drama tagged me for the ’8 Random Things about Me’ Meme.

Here are the rules:
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment on their blog and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to come back and read your blog for the whole story.

1. As honey-roasted-peanut-butter-brown [I ? my own skin tone, is that a crime?] as I am, I blush naturally. My cheeks will turn the most violent shade of pink when I’m hot or cold and sometimes, when I’m embarrassed. Also, when I’m angry, or anticipating anger, my ears become hot. It feels as if all the blood rushes to them and they are on fire. Seriously, if you touch them, they are hot to the touch. Actually though, don’t touch them, or me. Because if my ears are hot I’m probably going to go the fuck off very shortly and you don’t want to be anywhere near me.

2. I am a true believer that personality and/or intelligence can make a person more physically attractive. Well, especially intelligence. No, it won’t disguise the double chin or the scrawny arms but it will make them less noticeable. Of course it’s best to be sweet, smart, and gorgeous, but if you can’t be all, be the two aforementioned.

3. I get way too invested in my television dramas. I am livid that they are once again switching up the main players on some of the Law & Orders. L&O is losing Detective Ed Green and SVU is losing Detective Lake and ADA Novak. And, CSI: is ridding itself of Warrick Brown. What in the holy hell is going on with my shows!?! I cried at the season finale of Eli Stone, and I was absolutely floored at the official announcement by NBC that they won’t be renewing Journeyman. TV stresses me the fuck out.

4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my beef stew is the best on the planet. I guarantee it. Yes, better than your Montana born and raised grandmother’s. The beef quite literally melts in your mouth, the carrots and potatoes absorb all the flavors of the seasonings, the gravy is just thick enough to coat your spoon. It’s fucking perfect.

5. I have maintained my slave-traded chocolate free stance completely since discovering the cause. I’ve had not one product containing cocoa from The Ivory Coast. As much as I love a Snicker’s, I’ve not had a taste of one. Not a brownie, not a chocolate chip cookie, not a kiss, nothing. Yay, me!

6. I’m going to return to vegetarianism soon. I haven’t yet decided if I’m going to take the girls back with me. They were both vegetarian for a decent period of their lives, but then I decided that it’s a choice that I don’t want to force on them. That they should be able to decide whether they value the existence of non-sentient beings enough to avoid eating them for themselves. Now I think that letting them eat meat is just as drastic a decision as not letting them. So I’m torn.

7. I have an intense crush on Al Pacino. I always have, as long as I can remember. I’m supposed to see 88 minutes tomorrow night, and I’m sure I’ll swoon over his old ass the entire time. No matter how old he gets, I will love him. And find him sexually enticing. Wrinkly, shriveled, age-spotted and all…

8. I’m working on Indecisive Pt. 2. It looks like there will be more than just one part – probably 2 or 3. So, a happy medium for those of you who wanted it to be weekly. I’ve carefully avoided having to write any sex scenes. Using ‘throbbing member’ and ‘heaving breasts’ just doesn’t sound as natural to me as ‘dick/cock’ and ‘tits’. So unless you want some ‘…and he thrust his cock deep inside of her, eyes rolling back from the pleasure: the wetness, tightness…’, you want to avoid me writing anything dealing with sex. I’m just sayin’…

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