The BlogHer Post

This is probably not interesting to you if you’re not going. Hell, it’s probably not interesting to you if you are. But I had to get it out of my head, and I figure I can never have too many blog posts scheduled in advance, so this one will push the others back a day. It’s also a mile long. Sorry.

In preparation for the event I ordered a t-shirt and some sneakers. I went all out right? I polled my t-shirt ‘s design on Plurk and everyone was either full of shit, or it’s really funny. I think it is. And that’s all that matters. It’s also deliciously obscene. I figure that those who don’t like it probably wouldn’t like me or my blog and therefore, it serves two purposes: attracting those who would like me, and shielding me from those that wouldn’t. But I’m rethinking it, being that it’s probably not a good idea to draw any attention to my nausea inducing back rolls. As a matter of fact, I need a new bra. The 32H’s I’m hanging onto are squeezing the shit out of me. I’m thinking I’m more of a 36 or even 38 now. If I made it to 40 I’m blowing my brains out right in the department store, just so you know. Maybe I’ll get a new one at Macy’s when I arrive. If you see police tape blocking the store entrance, you’ll know what happened. “Damn, Maria reached a 40(+) band.”

I will get my eyebrows waxed and nails done too but that’s pretty normal. Next week I’ll be getting these raggedy split ends of mine trimmed so that’s something, yeah? Also, I’m not rocking the curly. I’m going to take advantage of the fact that there’s no where near as much humidity in California as there is here in North Carolina, so I’ll be flat ironed all straight and purty. Other than that, I’m not doing much. I was going to wear heels to a cocktail party or two but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I meant to lose weight. I didn’t. I know I’ll be the biggest chick on the panel, and the biggest girl in my little crew of bloggy buddies that will be there with me. I think I’ll be okay with that. I’m hoping my personality is just as big as my right ankle at least, and that I’m not an utter disappointment to them. Next year though. I want to be hot. I have great potential, I know it. I think. I do. Yes.

I’ve not allowed myself to get excited over BlogHer until basically when I started making plans with VDog. I’ve been obsessing, but still expecting something to go wrong. I can be painfully anal retentive. I don’t like ‘winging it’ and I like to have things planned out in advance. I also hate being late and it pisses me off when people are late. I have a problem with letting loose, I guess.

I had my conference call yesterday with Lindsay, Polly, Charlene [my fellow panelists] and Elisa [I wonder if she'd find it weird if I pinned her in a huge bear hug and covered her beautiful face with big wet sloppy kisses for granting me this opportunity]. Now, I’m officially excited. I hung up the phone and was raring to get up on that stage right then. I think it’ll be a very interesting panel. I think BlogHer did a great job making sure that there was diversity. I only hope I don’t trip and fall on my face in front of the potentially hundreds of people there.

In anticipation of having only a few days to do a million things and see a million people I have made a schedule for myself.

Thursday, as soon as I drop my bags off at The Westin, provided they’ll allow me to do so before check in since I’ll be arriving a few hours prior to 3pm, I’ll be headed out to the Mission with the marvelous VDog for authentic Mexican food [tryna get back to my roots here people, and what better way than at a taco truck? Can you get anymore Chicana than that?]. She’s also agreed to let me crush all the bones in her hand while I get my septum pierced.

After that, I have the BlogHer speaker’s orientation @ 3pm. Then the speaker’s reception @ 5pm. Then I’m headed to The People’s Party, hosted by The Bloggess amongst a bunch of other fine ladies. There’s also the BlogHer Newbie Mixer, and I must go to that. I am new and all.

Friday, I have reserved a 9am slot to get a makeover from Macy’s and Bare Minerals. I figure that they can disguise the horrible under eye circles that I have naturally, and that will be no doubt emphasized by the lack of sleep I’ll get next week from sheer excitement. Then I want to try to make it to the Speed Dating event before I have my panel, ‘Mommyblogging: Is Mommyblogging still a Radical Act?’, which, those of you coming, I hope make it to.

I’d like to try to squeeze into ‘Twenty Something Bloggers’ afterward, but it’s before my lunch with Rocco DiSpirito at noon, so I don’t know. I will not risk not being one of the first ones there.  If you see me running off stage and out of the room as soon as my panel is over, it’s probable that that’s where I’m headed. Not only do I like Bertolli but um, have you seen Rocco? No? Not lately? Well here’s a refresher –

Yeah. Not missing that. Love me some Italian. Yummy. Also, he’s dating Tracey Edmonds now [Babyface/Eddie Murphy's ex] so I know he’s down with the swirl. Might have to rub up on him and see where that goes. Yeah…nowhere, I know. A girl can pretend.

After lunch I plan on attending the race and gender discussion, and then my girl Kelly from Mocha Momma‘s panel ‘MommyBlogging: Mirrors: Ours, the Media’s, Our Cultures’ and Our Kids”. I know she’s rock it out.

And finally, the event that I just cannot miss is the Closing Community Keynote @ 4:30pm where one of my very favorite bloggers Mr. Lady will be reading off one of her blog posts. Congratulations to her! I’m so excited to get to meet her!

I’m trying to get the final details kinked out for a coffee [Coke for me, thanks] and chat period with Kim, VDog, and OhMommy amongst others which we had decided to do @ 5pm at Caruso’s, but with Mr. Lady’s event during that time, we’ll have to make it earlier or later.

Then there’s the welcome reception at Ruby Skye from 6pm – 9pm which hopefully I will be attending with all my girls. At midnight Aly and I will be seeing The Dark Knight at the local IMAX theater. Yes, this movie is so important that I set aside 3 hours of my San Francisco time to go see it.

Saturday, I’ll probably limit my conference attendance to late afternoon in order to spend a decent amount of time with Jillian, my roommate and someone who I’ve fallen in love with since getting to know. She’s not attending BlogHer, she’s really just coming to meet me and hang out. Isn’t that awesome? She’s also bringing me her spare camera to take photos with, and is going to let me prance around the conference with her MacBook Pro like I can actually afford a $5000 computer. Hellz yeah. I mean, I love Galveston [that's what I named my new Dell, yes] but MacAttack is calling my name…

At the conference, I’m trying to decide between attending ‘Who We Are: Can You Take Back Naked Blogging?’ and ‘What We Do: Blog to Book Redux’ @ 3:15. I really wanted to go to the Women of Color Bloggers meeting but that’s @ 3:15 too so I don’t know if I’ll get there. Both  of the hyperlinked sessions are pretty important to me and I’m very interested in them. I’m leaning towards Blog to Book, because just like I can pretend, I can dream as well. The one event I will not miss is the ‘Closing Keynote: Living the Truman Show’ @ 5:15, where Stephanie Klein and Dooce will be speaking. Stephanie is someone I look up to greatly, as is Dooce. I mean, the former is in the process of creating a pilot with NBC, and the latter received 42 THOUSAND blog comments on one entry last week. ‘The FUCK??

Then there’s the closing reception at Macy’s from 6-9pm. The drinks are free, I might actually attempt to get drunk. First time for everything, I guess! I know Kim will hold me up. Or I will take the most unflattering photos of her drunk ass that I possibly can.

Sunday, I’m completely free! I purposely chose a red-eye flight and I’m not leaving until almost midnight. I wanted to make sure that Aly and I have a chance to do some seriously touristy crap, from trolley rides to the aquarium to maybe even Alcatraz. Although I’ve already seen all the jail cells I’m interested in for one lifetime.

Other points of interest:

• Nintendo is hosting ‘fitness makeovers’ at the conference and I want to sign up. I’d love to try out the Wii Fit. They are also giving away prizes – maybe I’ll win a Wii!
• I need to make time to see a couple of MySpace friends that plan on coming to visit me. :)
• I want to see the Golden Gate Bridge. I may even try to get on it. Yes, I am a reformed gephyrophobic, but what better way to make sure I really have conquered it than to get on the Golden Gate!?!
• I want to eat something good. Something…San Francisco. Something I can’t get outside of San Francisco, and something that I can’t get on the east coast. I remember El Pollo Loco from my childhood. I wonder if that’s only in Los Angeles…I’ll have to check that out. Oh! And In-N-Out! Mmmm….fat. I hear good things about Dottie’s for breakfast, but bad things about their long, long waits. Maybe I can convince my roomies and OhMommy & KimmyLyn & Mr. Lady & VDog to make an early morning trek out for the best pancakes on the west coast, from what I’ve heard? Hint hint ladies?
  

Wow. This was a bunch of inane babble. And really link heavy! My apologies.
I just want to add thank you to everyone that helped me get there, with support, donations, comments, whatever. Also, I want to publicly say to Elisa: this honor means so much to me and I am truly, truly thankful for it. You can never know how appreciative I am, for many, many reasons.

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