“You look like mommy.”
“WHA’? I do not look like you!”
“Yes, you do Bella.”
“I’m not brown!” she sneers
my heart hurts for our future
“You still look like me…”
“No I don’t!” she shouts
and stamps her foot in anger
“Yes. Just a little lighter.”
“I’m…I’m…I am pink!”
She looks smug; pink is better
Where did this come from?
I’m at a loss now
will she be ashamed of me?
will she come to terms?
Half white, Quarter Black
and a quarter Mexican
Very far from pink.*
She’s only four though
I’ll explain it when she’s five,
maybe she’ll get it. **
[*By pink, she meant white.]
[**Yes. Avoidance. You try dealing with this.]
{ 80 comments… read them below or add one }
She totally looks like you. And, I’m sure being Miss Independent, she just didn’t want the comparison. Don’t read to much in it. My son has insisted for weeks he’s a girl. They just do these things.
April 27, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I wish I believed it was that innocent. (U)
She’s got a smile that would make the most senile
Annoying old man bite his tongue
I’m not done
She’s got eyes comparable to sunrise
And it doesn’t stop there
Man I swear
She’s got porcelain skin of course she’s a ten
And now she’s even got her own song
Did Travie write that for you and Bella? I think so.
April 27, 2008 at 8:10 pm
(L) (L) (L)
Oh sweetie. She is just noticing difference. Mine were pissed that I had different coloured hair and eyes. Even though they were blonde! and blue eyed! and I am a lowly green eyed brunette ;)
What sucks is society will make her notice. And not from just a wide eyed child like perspective.
On a different tangent, man I LOVE your eyebrows! I have the ugliest eyebrows on earth and now I am coveting yours.
April 27, 2008 at 8:12 pm
I know. I hate that it seems society has already infiltrated her young mind.
;-(
And bitch fucked my eyebrows up last time!! Geez! (N)
she’ll get it as she gets older. Hang in there, mom :)
April 27, 2008 at 8:12 pm
I hope so. ;-)
My son: Very Greek
Me: Very Caucasian
On our way to visit some old friends; whose kids names are:Shaquane, Shaedon and Shamillian- Lil Greek asks if those names are Greek like his and if they will be dark like his or light like mine.
Where ever do they know to distinguish?
PS-you and your daughter are freaking gorgeous!!!
April 27, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I have no clue. That bothers me too.
mkay-that was supposed to be:
“If they would have dark skin like his or light like mine.”
though you could probably figure that one out.
April 27, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Yeah, I got it. *Lol*
Hee..pink. Cute.
April 27, 2008 at 8:14 pm
(W)
My son is not brown, he’s “caramel colored” (He’s your complexion) so tell that to your daughter, “You may be pink but I look like a yummy candy.” Bet she’ll change her mind then :P
April 27, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I (L) That. I’m so going to use it.
She’ll come to terms. I reacted the same way when my mother told me that I was adopted. I know, that has nothing to do with skin color, but black or white – adopted or biological … it all comes down to family values. Teach her right, and she will learn right. She’ll be a better person for it. A better, beautiful person, who just might help change this messed up worlds’ view of skin color.
April 27, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I hope that I’m able to install the right morals in her. :)
I don’t think you have any reason to worry… I’ve said this before (and have thought it many times more): she’s got a really incredible role model in you, in many ways.
April 27, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Thank you Kristie.
(F) (F)
Perfect and beautiful . . . just like her momma . . .
April 27, 2008 at 8:16 pm
(L)
Kids are so incredibly literal. My three-year-old is constantly using color to point people out, ie “what is that brown guy doing?” and I’m always cringing in horror — until I remind myself it’s my own political correctness causing that reaction, not any racism on her part. Kids learn about the less tangible stuff, like beauty and strength and compassion, by time and experience only. Your daughter has the most breathtaking of models from which to learn. You’ll all be just fine.
April 27, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Exactly – but I can’t help but feel as if she’s already learned that it’s ‘better’ to be white than brown. I hate wondering…
she will take on your values. :) with patience. and a bit of spanering. KIDDING – i don’t spank. much. nobody saw it. i’m outa here.
you lot are beautiful.
The latest from holly…what could possibly go wrong?
That picture is gorgeous, she is a beautiful little girl and I definitely see a lot of Momma in there.
Sounds to me like she’s just trying to kind of separate herself, y’know. Make sure that she is her own person and not just a part of you. Does that make sense? I could be totally wrong of course and it could just be that’s a 4 year old who wants to be difficult and nothing like her mommy. Kids.
You got some great comments and advice from the other ladies up there.
SMooches love.
The latest from rachel…God Saw
May 3, 2008 at 10:09 pm
@rachel: Thanks Rachel. :)
Hey! You wrote this 5 days after my birthday =). But yeah, enough about me me me.
I am sure you and Bella have gotten past this by now… right? I feared that my daughter would have that kind of reaction one day, but to my surprise she’s like this little mini soul sistah. Rocking her afro puff and screaming black power. Well… maybe not the black power just yet, but she does have a desire to be darker, because I am darker than she is, lol
I just found your site through a tangled web of, well websites. I think the Bloggies, then BlogNosh, and then somewhere over the rainbow. And now I’m reading this entry. It reminded me of the many observations on race that my children have made.
My son is nearly 7. When he was 2 and a half, if that, we were coloring and he asked me my favorite color. I answered: “UK Blue is my favorite color. What’s yours?” “Brown. Like my daddy.”
Sorry – got distracted and didn’t finish my post. Both our kids are probably secure in their relationship with Mama so the express a loyalty to Daddy.
At another point, my son and his baby sister and I were all cuddling in the Big Bed and he said, quite out of the blue, “Daddy’s brown, I’m brown, the baby’s brown, and you’re white. Right, Mama?” Well, yeah, he’s right. Although ‘brown’ seemed like a visual observation and ‘white’ seemed like a social label. But it was winter and I was probably damn-near translucent and the kid did call water ‘white’, so whatever…
My son and his sister are biracial and they’re not the same color as their daddy any more than they’re the same color as I am. Daddy is a dark brown, I’m white and my children are a beautiful combination, somewhere in the middle. Mixed. Wonderful. Everything.
But I think they (my son and your daughter) really, really want to do as another commenter suggested and establish their independence from us. And possible align themselves with the parent who might not be there 24/7. Lastly, I think at their ages, they know how they come from us, but their connection to their fathers might not be so clear.
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