At another point, my son and his baby sister and I were all cuddling in the Big Bed and he said, quite out of the blue, “Daddy’s brown, I’m brown, the baby’s brown, and you’re white. Right, Mama?” Well, yeah, he’s right. Although ‘brown’ seemed like a visual observation and ‘white’ seemed like a social label. But it was winter and I was probably damn-near translucent and the kid did call water ‘white’, so whatever…

My son and his sister are biracial and they’re not the same color as their daddy any more than they’re the same color as I am. Daddy is a dark brown, I’m white and my children are a beautiful combination, somewhere in the middle. Mixed. Wonderful. Everything.

But I think they (my son and your daughter) really, really want to do as another commenter suggested and establish their independence from us. And possible align themselves with the parent who might not be there 24/7. Lastly, I think at their ages, they know how they come from us, but their connection to their fathers might not be so clear.

My son is nearly 7. When he was 2 and a half, if that, we were coloring and he asked me my favorite color. I answered: “UK Blue is my favorite color. What’s yours?” “Brown. Like my daddy.”

I am sure you and Bella have gotten past this by now… right? I feared that my daughter would have that kind of reaction one day, but to my surprise she’s like this little mini soul sistah. Rocking her afro puff and screaming black power. Well… maybe not the black power just yet, but she does have a desire to be darker, because I am darker than she is, lol